“Great is the art of beginning, but greater the art of ending” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I have been tired, melting, pushing on through some desert of a chaotic, formless void. I am going through the eye of the needle, the pinch of the hourglass, waiting, wondering, not knowing what I’m moving towards, and yet thread by thread unhinging myself from all that I have been attached to. I am accumulating futures, and abandoning pasts. I am zinging freely on towards who knows what. I am patient. I am impatient. I am whole, I am halved. I am free, yet I am locked. I can’t go home, but I can’t get close enough to what it is that I want. What is it again? I love my friends, my readers, my collaborators who read this – I love them too much to stay away.
“God sends the wound.
God is the wound.
God is wounded.
God heals the wound.”
– Elizabeth Howes, Jungian therapist
But I have great work to finish, pressing things of importance, pressure pressing on and in and all around. I push against it and the muscle fibres grow thicker. Strangely I realized, a few nights ago, that “it seems sometimes as if I have a voice living within me; a very wise voice who directs this pen and paper, and teaches me – the me who ironically, paradoxically feels like a very young soul. So, there are two parts to me: the writing voice, who is immeasurably old; and the striving, awestruck, living, breathing, excitable me. Sophie Ward, the body, the vessel. I’m the one who carries the spirit through the world, across the page, over this cosmos. And when I am most excited – that is when the inner voice, some ancient soul, is exclaiming at the sights of this earth – sights it seems he had long since forgotten.”
“Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not yet understood.” – Henry Miller
“I began to have an idea of my life, not as the slow shaping of achievement to fit my preconceived purposes, but as the gradual discovery and growth of a purpose which I did not know” – Joanna Field
Just wanted to drop in to say hello…..I miss you guys. Back to the drawing board. aka. LIFE.
5 Comments
First – thank you for popping in and saying hello – I rely on your words to an enormous extent. Your quotes and musings put the grey area of my life and feelings into focus.
Second, I stumbled across these incredible outer-space pictures taken by a man from his shed in England! Just a little something for your astro-eye to peruse.
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/glance/1003412/heavens-above-space-from-a-shed
LOVE from Melbourne
Yes!
Hello! Missing you also (and the regular flow of warming words)
Keep on trekking Sophie.
(London is brilliant)
yes I came to your page looking for your voice again-and found it! I like the “me” you are, the one you are becoming and the one you will be tomorrow. and am so happy there is a pen in your hand.
i love the 2nd avenue shot…painted with yellow cabs and windblown newsprint. whatever journey you are on…the passport is, and will be, amazing!
I’ve missed you Sophie
keep it up <3
One of the main reasons I visit your blog is this: While I plow through my daily challenges, as we all do, I rarely find a voice to lift me from the drudgery with any success. Work is work for me with all the requisite stresses and struggles normally associated with… well, WORK. Somehow you manage to find a voice within your work and lay it out here in the blog… a voice which reconnects me with the passions that delivered me to working on whatever it is I’m working on. You help remind me that I wanted to get to this damned work in the first place… which frankly makes it all much more pleasant. Thanks. A constant reminder, ever vigilant, that it is the doing, not the end result, that matters most.