FURNISHING A SOUL

Watercolor by me from before I was pregnant. It really is like this!

“It’s the best thing.

I should always want to be pregnant

Tummy thickening like a yogurt.

Unbelievable flower.”

- Sandra McPherson

Today I am 117 days pregnant. I have waited until now to share with you about this incredible feeling. How does one begin to describe what is happening? What am I feeling? How can I put words to this sensation? It has been four months, and I feel (I am) blessed. I feel strong, full of eternal life energy and coursing with love. It is a buoyancy I am somewhat familiar with, but unaccustomed to living amongst constantly. There are so few moments that take me out of this sensation.

I am furnishing a soul with a body. Who is this soul? Who are you that dreams in utero amongst the body my mother furnished for me? I have the undeniable sense of being used, utilized, filled up, full, fulfilled and complete. I have a sense of being able to do (almost) anything. Contrary to popular belief, my mind is sharpening in subtle ways. Or perhaps, it is not my mind, but my heart, which has expanded yet again, ballooning outwards across the planet.

What a gift it is to feel so utilized. Being a woman, it seems that my entire body is being employed for a purpose. I have a uterus! I have breasts! And they are engaged in their life’s work! I’ve never known this feeling – only the regular release and increase of blood shedding, and a powerful sense of when. Part of me knows I am born to mother. Perhaps born to mother this being, and then the others who will join him or her.

At first I wondered, when, then how, now who. There isn’t much to do except prepare myself for the journey and adventure that awaits as I follow this path – yet another inexplicable journey.

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4 Comments

  1. Petrina
    Posted November 8, 2013 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    This is beautiful. I concur and add that each of the three times I have furnished life each journey with the soul inside me was a unique part of their journey starting. Motherhood is the best job I have had in this world-so glad to deepen our friendship with this amazing gift!

    • Sophie
      Posted November 10, 2013 at 2:38 am | Permalink

      Yes Petrina, what a fantastic initiation to be experiencing! I feel so alive and connected! I read that the people who got the US government moving again after the shut down were the women in the White House… bipartisan, having get togethers over pizza and wine and talking it through. They made the point that being women, they have so much in common, as mothers, daughters, sisters… as women! So powerful this connection we all share. I am so grateful to be experiencing more of it every day. <3 to you.

  2. Meg
    Posted November 9, 2013 at 2:20 am | Permalink

    I have been reading this blog and following your journey since before you left Perth for NY, drawn back again and again by your writing and your lovely view on the world and its components. I just wanted to say that I am so very happy for you at this news, and I wish you all the best and every wonderful thing on your next great adventure.

    • Sophie
      Posted November 10, 2013 at 2:40 am | Permalink

      Thank you Meg! We shall see what adventures await, indeed…. I really appreciate you reaching out :)

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