My baby is three months old this week, and I keep meaning to write something down so that I will remember these fleeting moments, memories that may not be stored in a month, or a year. The endless, glorious mess of parenthood keeps everything moving. There is always something to do, something to remember, and yet these are the days I know I will pine for, come autumn, winter, subsequent springs.
I have wondered about how it will be to have other children – perhaps only then realizing how different we each are; how unique our jewel, Julius.
Some of the many things I love about him:
The way he strokes my chest while nursing, sometimes so much so that I have to hold his hand. The way his bottom lip curls downwards when asleep. The tiny, surprisingly deep creases carving such soft little palms. The way he stares into a corner smiling as if an angel were speaking to him in a language only he knows. The long curved eyelashes. Inexplicable dirt already at the edges of tiny fingernails. He laughs as his father dances, little legs retracting quickly, knees to chest, the arms waving about, little fists clenched, eyes only slits, toothless mouth wide. His squeals of delight rise in octaves.
A few of his favorite things:
Ceiling fans. Flowers, gardens, fires, the silhouette of trees against the dusk. Being held, carried, or swaddled in a wrap on mumma’s chest. Dreamcatchers. The way the feathers sway subtly in breezes from hidden draughts. Mumma’s milk. Daddy’s kissing, games, and songs. He dislikes clothing. Getting more familiar with hats. Love his ‘spesh’ – a red silk scarf given to him from Daddy (‘the color of my heart.’) Dislikes long car rides. Enjoys distraction, especially when musical. Loves New York City and all the sights and lights. Enjoys being held by aunties, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers and friends. Stays up late with us and sleeps in late too, sometimes after we’ve left the bed for breakfast. Can currently turn himself from his back, to his side, to his front in one (currently awkward though awesome) movement. Loves talking loudly, swinging, bouncing, hammocks.
We will love you forever Julius Max.