I have something to confess, express, confirm, nurture and navigate. I have recently been through a powerful transition phase, a phase which at times has caused me to lash out in anger, seethe with frustration, compound with melancholy and cop out with jealousy. I have watched myself go through each of these human emotions, fascinating within themselves as experiences of which life affords; and yet have come out the other side knowing that that is not the energy that I wish to perpetuate. I have put myself under a telescope, microscope, in a petri dish – call it what you will – I have been watching myself. And what has arisen throughout my investigations, is an awareness of my fundamental spirit, my joyful soul –who smiles as I write this just now – and my powerful intention for humanity.
I would like to share with you the journey of human emotion I have put myself through, and it is a long journey, something that I have been continuing to explore through this blog, through the creation of my book, through my daily life as a new soul in New York City. I put myself in the crucible, in the energy vortex, the beating heart pulse of the planet. I have let my physicality change the gears, let my body do the work, let my mind simply watch. I have allowed myself to be taken on a worldly journey, only to find it is not all there is; it is not all; it is not the way of the calm peace I continually seek, deeply nurture, and consequently find.
It is with a soul full of natural joy, fundamental essence, true liberty, companionate friends and a higher purpose for my self; a life free of ego, free of struggle, free of striving to be something or someone (although that is always supremely tempting!) and free of the morbid fascination with pain and pleasure that our current society promotes, that I am now able to move forward through the veil of hard particles towards the true nature, the nature true, the lifelong profundity I have continually experienced. There is a magic not in life per se, but beyond it, and I have seen and heard it surround me, I have seen and witnessed it move through me, I have heard its beckoning from areas just beyond and above the casing of my fleshly brain, my human skull.
It is with SUPREME joy and laughter, a smile that seems to issue not solely from my belly deep within me, but from surrounding atmospheric energies, that I write, in the way that I do, now, before, and again tomorrow. It is with this clarity of action, clarity of purpose, clarity of intention, that I go forth humbly as a channel (a faucet), in order that I might receive and sieve some of the gold wisps of crystal nuggets that rain down in atomic particles upon our Earth every day and every moment of every minute. It is by clearing the space around me, surrounding me, and within me, that I have been able to fine tune my human body to receive such wisdom; manifest peace; to be the cause for inner and outer prosperity; remain calm; repetitively practice tolerance for that-which-is-not-harmonious, and thus rapidly accelerate the transition through which my soul is going through.
I went willingly into the nature of things – the “nature” that is man too, just as insects and bugs are nature, just as the sky is a vast natural plaza, as much a vista as the ocean, the mountains and the deserts. I have stripped a lot away. I have exfoliated my old egoic tendencies concerning destructive necessities to “look good”, “feel good”, and “be good”. I have ritualized a practice of cultivating my mind like a garden, downloading the weeds each morning (3 pages, stream of consciously), and stringing them out onto a mental wheelbarrow, to load onto the mulch heap. (Very important in itself). I have watched for negative thoughts, words, actions and harsh or hasty habits that do not serve my own peacefulness nor the harmony of the environment around (and within) me.
My inner health is now of utmost concern; as well as being a powerful standing for the re-emergence of the feminine within our rational, linear, highly cultivated culture. In the mythical story of the Bible, God – Divinity, Higher Consciousness – warned Adam and Eve about the dangers of eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. There were but two trees in the Garden of Eden: The Tree of Life, and this Tree of Knowledge. Is it not surprising that the acquisition of knowledge must come with a forewarning? One hypothesis is that through eating the fruit from the Tree, Adam came to know agriculture, seeds, the sprouting of new growth, and thus chanced upon the opportunity to cultivate his own garden, his own farm, town, city, civilization. The suggestion I have recently come into contact with is that through man’s coming to know agriculture, man comes into a power not unlike that of God, Divinity, Mother Nature herself. Is it not surprising that this warning was foretold, and that we have indeed fulfilled God’s profoundest worry?
Are we not carving straight and narrow tunnels out of rivers, causing stagnation, congestion, toxicity, accumulation of sediment and thus flooding – not natural, but man-made disasters? Isn’t Mother Nature, who lives as the Earth, lashing out like a bitten animal at our whips and chains? Walking down Park Avenue near 45th street the other day, I saw a large string of digital numbers, the last three or four digits switching very rapidly. National Deficit it read. I lost count of how many numbers in a row there actually were, but the first two numbers were 12, the last three were jumping every second from 210, 250, 340, 190, 260, up and down, not sure whether they were coming and going. This is the hollowed ground, the hallowed memory we have excavated, for, I would suggest, the wholly physical realm of sensation and material gain. The pleasure we souls gain from this physical world we are bound to, seems to accelerate in times of stress. What else would a soul chained to a body be able to do?
Until we relinquish the bonds and attachments to the physical body, we will continue to perpetuate the rape of our God-given resources (which not only includes natural resources but our inner resources: our talents, our perfect bodies with all their natural timings, seasons, systems, intuitive knowings and finely tuned receptors and synchronic actions – all of which occur without our consciously willing them to. . .)
Breathe in, breathe out. It happens every day, hundreds of times, without brain energy or unnecessary energy expenditure. What if we could relax into our lives and open to the information around us, within us, moving through us, in the way that the stomach intuitively knows how to digest protein and how to digest sugar differently? What if we could retrain our machinic lives to undam the river, to reverse engineer the oil wells like acne in the land? What is we could gently exfoliate the old skin of past lives and massage with oil the new skin that is emerging, paying particular attention to the areas that require extra care and attention? What if we began to do this within ourselves, with our thoughts, our intentions, our actions, and thus through our environment – and in doing so began to connect with others who supported this healing, accelerating and energizing it with new creative energy? What if groups such as these, such as yourself, your fellow readers, my guides, my mentors, journeyers just beginning and just ending, went then with this practice of addressing what doesn’t work anymore, what requires exfoliation, and like the snake with it’s meandering river of smooth energy, gently moved towards its intended goal, the peaceful union with Earth and Cosmos?
What if we left behind our obsession with the mind, with knowledge, with acquisition in general, with data entry and getting places; if we left behind our concurrently related and intertwined obsession with the physical body, with pleasure (even pain), comfort, our addiction to stress and adrenal stimulation, with our love of torture and release from torture – what if!!! What then? Would we find a new relationship with the Earth begin to blossom? Would we enter a new age of never-before-conceived (“twas just a twinkling in the eye!”) prosperity and peaceful existence? How is this possible when the world is multiplying in pieces, as all of our material universe does (excepting black holes)? Will we learn to channel the urge to procreate into new forms of pro-creation? Will the will to power, the will to desire, the will of pleasure and pain, always be there and continue to wreak havoc on those who do not understand it (and even more dangerously, those who do?)
I do not know the answer to these questions, but I do have inklings in the eye of my soul – something which seems to say that what arrives consecutively in the course of an evolution is unrecognizable to that which came before it. The preceding and receding art of life that we have so fabulously cultivated, is decaying and sloughing off like dead snake skin. Still we worship the snake. Still we mourn the old skin. Let us celebrate! Let us celebrate justly the magnificence of our most successful creations! Let us learn from our mistakes! Let us live patiently with new knowledge and remain open to the intuitive (feminine) energy that rises now to take care of a messy planet. Just as we have always done, just as is in our nature. Our Mother Nature.
What part of the brain – if it is the brain – is responsible for deciding to act one way or another? One traditional answer is that this is not the job of the brain at all but rather of the soul. Hovering above the brain like Casper the Friendly Ghost, the soul perturbs the networks of the brain, thereby triggering the neural activity that will ultimately lead to behaviour. Although such dualistic accounts are emotionally reassuring and intuitively satisfying, they break down as soon as one digs a bit deeper. How can this ghost, made out of some kind of metaphysical ectoplasm, influence brain matter without being detected? What sort of laws does Casper follow? Science has abandoned strong dualistic explanations in favor of natural accounts that assign causes and responsibility to specific actors and mechanisms that can be further studied. And so it is with the notion of the will […]” – Excerpt from Christof Koch’s article: ‘The Will to Power – Is “Free Will” All in Your Head?‘, in Scientific American magazine, November 2009.
(Is this not an example of the overriding of the feminine unexplainable by the rational masculine? What kinds of repercussions will the imbalanced duality of masculine-feminine towards masculine-masculine have? I refuse! I take a stand for the sacred feminine! Not the exploited and vilified de-feminized object of lust, but the sacred, ancient creator, the pulsation of the Earth’s womb itself. I love my womanhood, and so shall we all if we let go of the upstream swimming! Women of the world, relax!)